National Honesty Day

I learned from the radio this morning that today is National Honesty Day. Evidently since we start out the month of April "fooling" people, we need to end the month by telling the truth. Just two days ago I completed a pretty extensive list of updates about our family, so thought I'd change it up this Monday and list some truths about myself in honor of the holiday.

1. I spend most of my work day sitting at a desk doing officey type things. Granted I do a lot of talking on the phone to clients, meeting with clients before and after their appointments and helping people through one crisis after another(wink wink) but I also get a lot of messages about refilling medications, do a lot of typing on the computer, and completing required state paperwork for the client's chart......Not at all what most nurses do in a given day. 98% of the time I love my job and wouldn't change it for anything. The other 2% of the time I am a little embarrassed that I don't do more "saving" of lives like my peers that work in the hospitals. I paid a lot of money for my degree to be a paper pusher.
2. With that being said, I am getting a little burnt out from talking parents off the ledge. Be a parent for pete's sake! There are seriously some messed up parents in this world.....heck, in the NORTHLAND. Really thankful I work with a doctor who shares my philosophy that we can't punish a kid for having crappy parents. The good doctor and I bend over backwards to help these kids, but there is no pill for bad parenting skills. Eventually the parents have to be accountable. It is just sad that the kid has to suffer because of it, hence the getting burnt out feeling from my job. It is mentally exhausting spending 30 minutes on the phone telling a parent how to be a parent....without using any swear words.
3.  Every day I see more of myself in Tess's personality and quirks. Some of them are thrilling(sigh) while others make me want to shake some sense into her. Doesn't she see how messed up I am? I told Andy that we need to start saving now for her therapy sessions as an adult. We won't be able to afford her college tuition, but we cannot not pay for therapy.
4. It is hard to discipline Jane for saying or doing something naughty when it is used correctly in a sentence/situation. For example: Yesterday she looked outside and saw Andy with a power tool drilling into the bottom of a flower pot. She looked at me and said "What the hell is he doing?" It's not good, but Jane's personality seems to be compatible with swearing. It really didn't sound too messed up coming from her...almost natural.
5. I spend many nights crying myself to sleep thinking about the safety of my girls and how I love them so much it hurts.
6. I spend many of those nights first worrying about death. Our families have been so blessed with good health. We have had some sickness and some unexpected sadness, but compared to other families, we are going strong. Does anyone else spend time thinking that eventually the good luck has to wear out? I make myself sick thinking about dying young and leaving my daughters. It is such conflict inside me that I am confident of my place in heaven but am so selfish to want to live forever.
7. It is no secret that I proclaim to hate exercising. While I do hate exercising, I find myself fantasizing daily about having a lean, muscular body. ((sigh))
8. Does anyone else find themselves telling a lie(typically so small it is stupid) and then immediately thinking "why did I just do that?" Just me? great.
9. I am so tired of reading political criticism about Obama. I would love to stand up for myself (and Obama for that matter) with facts to back up my tirade...but I just don't have enough political knowledge based on facts. I firmly believe that this country was a mess before Obama and it is slowly on its way back. Mitt Romney scares the crap out of me as a potential president but I think there are enough crazy a$$ Republicans that will vote for him(even knowing he is a quack) just to get Obama out. As if they know they will be putting a bad option in for president, but at least he will be Republican. WTF? Obama has done far more good than he will ever get credit for, and I really think that some people think it is just him making the decisions for this country. As if all the congressmen/women and house representatives make no mistakes. Yep, it is clearly just Obama that has any power. Oh, and he takes waaay too many vacations. Because a man with children that is in CHARGE OF THE FREAKIN' FREE WORLD doesn't deserve to still take vacations like us sorry worker bees do. Obama has my vote. Again. and that is the truth.
10. One of my closet career dreams is to be a back up singer. I have no desire for the spot light, but to belt it out in the background, wearing a really cool outfit, seems delightful. I also am pretty sure I would be a pretty great mental health nurse practitioner, but am too chicken to start the schooling. Not enough courage and even less money.
11. Being honest and being too honest are only separated by a fine line. I can't tell you how many things I started to type in this post and then erased because they would hurt someones feelings.

Happy Honesty Day!